


Ambiguous Living Spaces

by Tsukino_Akume



Series: Bright Skies AU [7]
Category: Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Power Rangers, Power Rangers Samurai
Genre: Depression, F/M, Families of Choice, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-24
Updated: 2013-11-01
Packaged: 2017-12-24 12:05:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/939810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tsukino_Akume/pseuds/Tsukino_Akume
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Antonio's living situation was, much like himself, in a constant state of transition.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer/:** Seeing as I have no moneys and write no episodes, it's still not mine.  
>  **Warnings/:** Angst  
>  **Author's Notes/:** This was written in answer to PunkPinkPower's post that wondered where Antonio was living during Samurai. While it technically starts just after the first chapter of Promises ends, the two stories are pretty much interchangeable.
> 
> Antonio's apartment can be found [here](http://www.forrent.com/apartment-community-profile/1000058919.php) The particular model he lives in is the Hummingbird.

"We should be getting back," Jayden commented eventually, after they'd spent far too long laying together watching the sunset.

Antonio sighed, but nodded reluctantly. "I'll walk you home," he offered. 

Jayden blinked, then frowned. "What do you mean? Aren't you coming with me?" 

"Ah - " 

"All Samurai Rangers stay at Shiba House," Jayden pressed on, looking insistent. "The others will already have them preparing a room for you." 

Antonio cringed slightly. "It's not ... I appreciate it Jay, I do," he assured him. "It's just, I don't think it's such a good idea for me to stay there right now." 

Jayden's frown deepened. "Why not?" 

"Well, I haven't even formally met the team yet, right?" he pointed out. "And Ji lives on formality, I remember that much." Jayden still looked ready to argue, so he sighed. "And I already have a place in town." 

Jayden hesitated, looking slightly disappointed. "You're sure?" 

He nodded. After a moment, he grinned brightly. "But hey, I'll still walk you back. After all, I have to make sure _mi princesa_ arrives home safely, no?" 

The punch to the stomach was just as painful as he'd expected, but it was worth it. 

****

"Papa, we talked about this," he sighed into his morpher as he glared around his new apartment. "I told you I didn't need a lot of space." 

_"Yes, you did,"_ his papa agreed aimiably. _"And we disagreed."_

"What am I going to do with an extra bedroom and bathroom?" he demanded. 

_"Only one? Zack must have finally talked Aisha down after all."_

" ***Papa***." 

_"Training area,"_ Papa said promptly. _"And guest space if any of your teammates want a place to crash. It happens often enough."_

"Why would they stay with me when they already live in a mansion?" 

_"Not everyone likes mansions. And hey, sometimes people need space."_

"It's too big!" 

_"It's only two bedrooms."_

"I have ***five*** closets! Even I don't own that many clothes!" 

_"Really? Well, we can get you more - "_

"No!" he interrupted hastily. "No more clothes! I'm good!" 

_"Are you sure?"_

" ***Yes***." 

Papa sighed, sounding vaguely disappointed. _"Well, if you're sure. Do you like the furniture? Kat picked everything out."_

He rubbed a hand over his face. It ***was*** his taste; all black and gold Asian-influenced pieces, excluding the overstuffed mattress on the bed and the lumpy-looking couch in the living room. For all that he'd complained about not needing it, the second bedroom had already been designated as his own mini-dojo, complete with mats, weights, a free-standing punching bag, and two large bookshelves of weapons and books - with locks. The kitchen was fully-stocked with every piece of cooking equipment he could possibly need and then some. Barstools surrounded the kitchen island - enough to fit the whole team if he wanted to - while the built-in computer desk had already been decked out by either Uncle Billy or Justin. Possibly Uncle Cam. Maybe all three. 

"Yes," he admitted reluctantly. He paused and sighed. "Tell her I really like the wall screen," he mumbled, because he did. 

_"Will do!"_ Papa agreed cheerfully. 

"But really, Papa, the dojo?" 

_"Complain to your dad about it. In fact, here he is!"_

There was a pause. 

_"Hey,"_ his dad greeted. _"Did everything go okay? You got there, you have keys? No issues?"_

He rolled his eyes. "It went fine, Dad." _Mostly fine_ , he amended to himself. But Dad would just get exasperated with him if he told him how he'd almost missed his golden moment. "The manager knew me right away - did you really ask him to keep an eye on me?" he demanded, because that had been horribly embarrassing. 

There was an awkward pause. _"So the apartment's nice? Joel seemed to think so."_

He groaned. "You called Lightspeed, too?" 

_"Someone had to help move in the furniture your aunt ordered."_

He flopped down on the couch, burying his face in his hands. "Dad ... " 

_"So it's nice?"_

He sighed. "Very nice. But you really didn't have to set up a whole dojo for me," he tried to argue. "And there's way more stuff here than I'm ever going to need!" 

_"You need a good place to train, where you don't have to worry about anyone seeing something they shouldn't,"_ Dad said firmly. He paused, quietly adding _"We just want to know that you're taken care of."_

Which was Dad-Speak for 'We love you'. 

" ... This couch is really comfortable," he mumbled eventually, adjusting to a new position. He couldn't find any way to lay on it that wasn't. "Tell Auntie she has good taste." 

_"You'll appreciate it down the road,"_ Dad replied, sounding a little sad. 

"I appreciate it now." He paused, biting his lip. "Are you still upset with me? For becoming a Ranger?" 

_"Antonio ... "_

"Don't say you're not," he countered. "We both know that's not true." 

_"I'm not upset that you became a Ranger,"_ Dad said quietly. _"I know that's been your dream since before I even met you. And I'm proud of you for all that you've done to get this far."_

"But," he prompted. 

_"But you're still my son. And I know what you're about to go through."_

"Dad - " 

_"I'm sorry Antonio, but I just can't be okay with that."_

He closed his eyes, swallowing hard as his hand tightened around his morpher. It wasn't disapproval exactly, and he knew that. But they both knew that this would always be a sticking point between them. "And I can't ... This is what I'm meant to do." 

_"I know."_

He sighed, rubbing his free hand over his face. "I love you," he said finally. 

_"I love you, too."_ There was a pause. _"Your mom wants to talk to you."_

"'kay. Talk to you later." He scrubbed a hand over his face again, trying to force some levity to his voice. " _Hola_ , Mama!" 

" _Hola, Azizi._ " He could hear the smile in her voice as she slipped seamlessly between the two languages. _"So you like the new place? Is there anything you need that we forgot?"_

He rolled his eyes. "Well, you did forget to pack Garrett." 

_"Don't you sass me boy, I'm serious."_

"No, Mama," he promised, rolling his eyes again. "I've got everything I could possibly need right now." 

_"And?"_

"And if I need anything, I'll call you." 

_"Good boy."_

He shook his head, smiling ruefully to himself. He knew better than to argue with his mother. But still ... "But Mama, a queen-sized bed? What am I even supposed to do with a bed that big?" 

_"Antonio-azizi."_ She sounded far too amused. _"You're nineteen years old, and you don't know what to use a big bed for?"_

It took him a moment to follow, but when he finally did he shot up straight, wide-eyed in horror. " _Mama! Dios mio!_ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
>  _mi princesa_ \- my princess  
>  _Hola_ \- hello  
>  _Azizi_ \- As a noun: 'rarity, precious thing, treasure, valued thing'. As an adjective : 'precious, rare, valuable'.  
>  _-azizi_ \- 'dear, esteemed'  
>  _Dios mio!_ \- Oh my god!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter mentions multicultural families celebrating different Holidays - namely Antonio and Aisha celebrating Kwanzaa together. I will be the first to admit that anything I've learned about Kwanzaa came from internet research, and I appreciate any corrections that need to be made if someone finds them. As for the various holidays Antonio celebrates, being raised in a family of various beliefs and traditions, it's my interpretation that he's adopted parts of all of them.
> 
> So ... this wasn't where I'd planned to take this chapter. -Eyes ShinyAntonioMuse- Here it is anyway.

There was one very distinct problem with Antonio's new apartment: it was _quiet_.

Antonio came from a big family by normal standards. He had two fathers, a mom, a step-dad - or almost, anyway - and an older brother. When you added in all the aunts, uncles, cousins, and relatives somewhere between cousins and siblings, he had a ridiculously large family by ***anyone's*** standard. 

Growing up, the smallest group of people he'd ever been around was when Justin came over to watch him. Even in the early days, it had still been him, Papa, and Uncle Jason squeezed in their tiny apartment. He'd never been alone. He didn't ***want*** to be. 

When he'd been training, the times he'd gone off by himself were few and far between. There was always someone to study from, a chance at a new challenge, or someone with a new potential way for him to tap into his Symbol Power. The Academies were full of students, and everywhere he went, there was always family nearby from some distant connection. He had to actively hunt for solitude on the rare occasions he did want time to himself. 

So the novelty of having an entire two bedroom apartment of his own wore off pretty fast. 

He tried to adapt. He played music as loud as he dared. He left the TV on at all hours of the day. He had video chats and e-mail conversations with various cousins as often as he could. He talked to Octo more than ever, and Clawzord after he'd been fixed and come to live with them. At night he would lie in bed, staring at the ceiling, and listen to the two of them splashing around in the second bathtub together. He knew Octo understood he was lonely, and he suspected Octo had told Clawzord judging by the way neither of them left his side. 

He was grateful for both his little buddies, but it just wasn't the same. 

He missed the sounds of Zack playing music at all hours of the day. Of Papa and Mama arguing in the kitchen over who was making the next meal, neither ever bothering to check and see whose turn it actually was. He missed watching Papa and Dad work out together in the backyard, or even better, when Mama joined them for a three-way spar. He missed all the aunts and uncles and cousins who spontaneously came over for some reason or another, adding to the noise and chaos. 

For eight months he endured the silence. He got out as often as he could, spending his time fishing or with the Rangers. Fishing helped the most; it was the last connection he had to his father, and one of the few things in his life that had little to do with being a Ranger. 

He enjoyed time with the team too, of course. He got along fabulously with Emily, Mike, and Mia. Kevin was frustrating at times, but well, you couldn't please everyone. And there was no question about Jayden. 

Mentor was ... trying. Ji still hadn't entirely forgiven him for running off with Octo as a child, or for monopolizing so much of Jayden's time and attention. Antonio still couldn't completely forgive Ji for taking his morpher from him - _the morpher he'd made with his own two hands, the morpher he'd fought and trained and ***burned*** for_ \- even though Ji did seem to have accepted him as a member of the team. They co-existed peacefully by both doing their best not to co-exist any more than necessary, and being polite whenever the other Rangers were around. None of them had caught on to the issue so far, and he hoped to keep it that way. 

Most of the time, he was happy. He ***loved*** being a Ranger, loved the feeling of ***finally*** accomplishing the goal he'd been striving toward for fourteen years. He cared about his team, about their happiness and well-being. So many things about his family made so much _sense_ to him now, in ways it never had before. He felt like he'd finally found the place he'd been searching for all his life. 

But even so, there were still times ... 

****

It hit him hardest in the beginning of December. Fortunately there wasn't much for snow in Panorama City or its surrounding island, so he was still able to fish. But seeing the decorations in town reminded him that this was his first Christmas away from home. The first time he wouldn't be able to argue with his cousin Garrett over presents, or force Justin to spend Christmas Eve with them no matter how much he complained. He wouldn't get to hear Papa's dramatic re-telling of the year that the Power Rangers saved Christmas. No running around S.P.D., helping Dustin and Chip decorate behind Commander Cruger's back. Greeting Mama each day of Kwanzaa with _"Habari Gani?"_ and seeing her smile, discussing the principle of the day as they lit the kinara. 

"You should go." 

He jerked in surprise, turning from watching Kevin and Mike's spar to look at Jayden. "Huh?" 

"You should go," Jayden repeated quietly. "See your family. You miss them, don't you?" 

"I'm with my family," he said firmly, glancing at him out of the corner of his eye. Jayden blushed, faint enough that he doubted anyone else would have even noticed, and Antonio bit back a smile. "I'll say it as many times as I have to until you believe me," he murmured. "This is where I need to be. This is where I ***want*** to be." 

Jayden hesitated for a split second before finally giving a short nod. 

To the others it was nothing, but Antonio looked down to keep them from seeing him smile. When it was his turn to spar with Mia, his fingers discreetly brushed against Jayden's as he passed. He knew without looking that Jayden was blushing again. 

****

He was helping move the tree into Shiba House when his morpher rang. 

"Hold up! Phone call!" he called cheerfully, ignoring Mike's colorful not-swearing as he set down his part of the tree. He brightened when he saw who was calling. "Uncle Jason! Happy Solstice!" 

_"Antonio, I need you to listen to me."_

He froze. He knew that tone of voice. He nodded instinctively to it, forgetting for a moment that his uncle couldn't actually see him. 

_"We just got word from the plane that your parents are on. You know they were coming back from Tokyo today, right?"_

He nodded again, his heart in his throat. Dimly he thought he heard someone say his name, but all he could focus on was the morpher in his hand and the voice on the other end of the line. 

_"Antonio."_

"Yes," he croaked out. 

_"Your mom's in labor, Antonio."_ Uncle Jason's voice was painfully gentle. _"They've been caught in a bad storm, and no one knows how long it's going to take them to get to a safe landing spot."_

The world was closing in on him. He could hear his breathing coming in short, painful gasps. 

_"That's all we know for now, but we're keeping as close an eye on things as we can. We'll keep you updated as soon as we know anything else."_ There was a pause. _"Now I need you to take deep breath for me, okay Kid?"_

He managed to focus enough to center his breathing, but it still hurt. He couldn't tell anymore if the pain was his lungs or his heart, and he didn't care. "I'll be there." 

_"Antonio - "_

"I'll be there," he snapped, closing his morpher sharply and cutting off the call. 

"Antonio?" 

He looked up, catching Jayden's eyes. His mouth worked for a moment, trying to explain, but all he could think was _PapaDadMamaZackPapaDadMamaZack_ and - "I have to go," he blurted. "There's a family emergency. I - " 

"Go," Jayden cut him off, shaking his head. "We'll be fine." 

_I love you._

The thought was sudden, faster than he had time to register before he was running for the door. And then he was calling again, begging for a ride from someone, anyone to bring him home. Anyone who could get him home again. 

_PapaDadMamaZackPapaDadMamaZackPapaDadMamaZack._

****

Four days. Four glorious days surrounded by family and noise and chaos. He fussed over Mama in the Infirmary until she demanded Aunt Dana and Aunt Ashley throw him out. He helped Dustin and Chip and Dax and Uncle Zhane add every decoration known to man to the halls of S.P.D. He sat with his new baby brother, holding his tiny hand through the insulated gloves Aunt Dana said he had to use. He hugged Zack for all he was worth, and told him he was his hero. He listened to Papa's dramatic re-telling of how the Power Rangers saved Christmas for the fourteenth year in a row, this time with commentary from Dad, Aunt Kim, Uncle Billy, and Uncle Tommy while they sat with Mama in the Infirmary. He opened presents with his cousins at the foot of Mama's bed, and had a grand time trying to bury Garrett in wrapping paper. He let Justin tease him about his dedication to Jayden for the umpteenth time, his brother being the first person who'd ever questioned him enough to know the real reason behind it. 

He left them on Christmas day to go back to his team, to Jayden, whose thoughts he could somehow pick up on from _another country_ , and if that didn't tell him how worried Jayden was, he didn't know what would. He spent the day with them, opening presents and 'helping' Mia make a magnificent Christmas dinner. They shared stories and hot chocolate late into the evening, and Emily suggested he spend the night with them, but he turned them down because he still had a load of presents to sort through in his apartment and calls to make to assure everyone that he'd arrived safely and that everything had been - surprisingly - fine while he was gone. 

And then he found himself in an empty apartment, surrounded by silence. 

For the longest time he stood in the living room, staring at everything. Octo hovered at his shoulder, chirping at him in concern, but he couldn't answer him. All he could do was stare at his well-stocked kitchen full of food for people he rarely cooked for, at his big, comfy couch in a living room that only he ever used, at the hallway down to a bed that was big and empty, and a dojo that he never argued with anyone over for leaving things in places where they shouldn't be. 

_I hate this place,_ he realized. _... I don't want to stay here anymore._

Octo nudged him, and he finally turned to look at him. "Sorry, little buddy." He blinked once, swallowing hard. "I ... I just ... " 

_I want to go home._


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is definitely turning out not to be what I'd planned for. But I'm having loads of fun writing it and everyone else seems to enjoy it, which is what matters.

Octo was mad at him, and Antonio didn't need his morpher to ask why. His little buddy was flying around the room, buzzing angrily, and refused to answer whenever he tried to text him and explain. Clawzord seemed content enough to splash around in his new bathtub - even if they did have to share it now - but then, Clawzord hadn't known him as long.

He sighed, laying back on the bed. The motel wasn't anywhere near as nice as the apartment, or as big. It was cleaner than some places he'd stayed in before, because pretty much everything on Panorama Island was well-cared for thanks to the Shiba family's influence. And he still ***had*** the apartment - his parents would have guessed something was wrong if he'd tried to give it up completely - he just ... couldn't stay there anymore. 

When he closed his eyes, he could hear the kids from the room three doors down playing Power Rangers in the parking lot - Annie wanted to be the Red Ranger, but Kyle and Derek kept insisting that the Red Ranger had to be a boy. The couple in the room to the right was watching TV; something with a loud laugh track. Someone was getting ice from the machine outside his door, but they must be new to the building because they didn't know about the sweet spot you had to hit first for it to work consistently. 

Octo buzzed angrily above him again, and he sighed, reaching for his morpher. _i'm going 2 sleep, little buddy_ , he texted. _good night._

There was a grumpy chirp in acknowledgement, but eventually Octo joined Clawzord in the bathtub. 

Outside, Marissa was calling the kids in for bed. She hushed them as they continued arguing, and firmly told the boys that Annie could be whatever color Ranger she wanted to be. The show in the room next door had changed over to a game show; there was still laughter, but it was muted, mostly covered by quiet murmuring as they guessed at the answers. The person at the ice machine had given up and left, leaving the machine humming contentedly. 

Antonio closed his eyes again, letting the noise soothe him. It still wasn't home, but it was something. 

****

The downside of the motel was that unlike his apartment, he had to pay for it himself. Not that he minded - he preferred it actually, because he'd never been comfortable with having his parents pay for everything even knowing that it was an argument he'd never win - but it meant he spent a lot more time fishing than he had been. And now he was fishing to pay for the room every week, not just for fun. It gave him more excuses to get outside and be near people, but getting up early in the morning and heading down to the pier was exhausting after awhile. 

Exhaustion was part of the reason he let Jayden drag him to Shiba House for the night when they'd finally been able to tap into The Black Box - exhaustion, but also the fact that he could practically feel the worry and protectiveness radiating off Jayden. And it was nice, sharing a bed again. They hadn't done it since they were kids. He hadn't planned on it exactly - he'd actually assumed he'd take a guest room or something and then head out in the morning - but before he'd realized what was happening, Jayden was dragging him into his room and tucking him into the bed. And then Jayden had fallen asleep on him, and ... well, he was already comfortable. It wasn't that big a deal. 

He tried not to think about the fact that he slept better that night than he had in weeks. 

The next morning he got up early and went fishing, but he made sure to bring some by for lunch as a thank you. He pretended not to notice the look Jayden gave him when he arrived, a silent accusation for the way he'd snuck out. It wasn't his fault that Jayden looked so cute when he was sleeping. Besides, there were fish to be caught, and rent to be paid. 

****

The boat was a stroke of luck and sheer stupidity that he came upon by chance one morning while checking his e-mail on the bagel shop's Wi-Fi. Expensive, especially seeing as he already sold his fish at a discount rate to beat out his competitors, but it would also give him the advantage of broadening his fishing grounds. It was worth investigating, at least. 

It turned out to be a small Bayliner in decent condition, but the motor needed work and the interior was just barely big enough to sleep in. The old man selling it had been happy to negotiate with a fellow fisherman, especially when Antonio offered to fix it up for him first. They settled on renting it out for a trial run, with some fresh sea trout set aside for his new benefactor to have first pick of. 

Life on the boat was great. He had his pick of the sea, and with the new equipment, he was even able to drop a couple of lines for crab, which definitely added to his income. Not having a kitchen was a definite downside, but it gave him an excuse to cook for the team more often. The fresh air was wonderful, and Octo and Clawzord loved being able to play in the ocean where no one could see them. Octo was still upset with him, but playtime in the water seemed to be a big enough bribe to get them back on speaking terms. 

He had the boat for two weeks before he learned the one big drawback that came with it: it was hard to rush off to fight the Nighlok when you had to take the time to head into port, drop anchor, and make sure everything was secure before you could leave. 

And then Switchbeast attacked, and he couldn't bring himself to get back out on the water for two days. 

****

_"Take things slowly,"_ Aunt Ashley advised when he called her. _"Post-Traumatic Stress isn't something that goes away overnight. Don't push yourself to do anything you're not comfortable with."_

_Well, that was less than helpful,_ he sighed to himself. "Thanks, Aunt Ash." He hesitated. "You won't tell anyone about this, will you?" 

_"Antonio, there's nothing to be ashamed of,"_ she scolded gently. _"We all have something from our time as Rangers that we struggle with. No one will blame you for this."_

"Please, Auntie." 

She sighed softly. _"All right, sweetie, I won't tell anyone. I promise."_

****

The slumber party with the team helped a little. He always felt better having everyone around, and waking with a nest of blankets and Rangers on the floor beside the bed was a great start to the day. He felt a little guilty for leaving - Jayden made a sleepy noise of protest when he got up, and it took some serious discipline to keep moving - but he promised himself it was just long enough to check on the boat and do some fishing for breakfast. 

He ended up bringing back bagels instead. 

He suspected Jayden knew what was wrong, but then, Jayden knew him better than anyone. More importantly, he didn't call him on it; only thanked him for the bagels and asked if he was planning on training with them this morning. Antonio opened his mouth to say no, but found himself agreeing instead. 

Before he knew it, he'd spent the entire day at Shiba House. There was training, cooking lunch with Mia, a few rounds of the bizarre MiniZord board game he vaguely remembered playing with Jayden when they were children, and getting into a tickle fight with Emily. Dinner was approaching before he'd really thought about it, and then he decided to drag everyone out grocery shopping because he was craving Mama's Butternut Squash Soup. 

He made Jayden and Kevin carry things while he picked out ingredients - he'd tried to sucker Mike into it, but he kept pretending to get distracted with something several booths back whenever Antonio had something new to be carried. He bickered with Mia over adding things to the recipe that weren't supposed to be there, insisting that he wanted the recipe to stay pure, and she could taint her own batch. Emily made them stop for everything that caught her eye, until Mike rolled his eyes and threw her over his shoulder in a fireman's carry, carting her around the market while she laughed and kicked her feet in protest. Kevin complained about how childish they were all being, but he wasn't pretending not to know them, so Antonio considered it progress. 

He kidnapped Jayden to help him cook when they returned. For a moment he thought Mia would want to join them, but she gave him this odd smile and left them alone. He blinked after for a moment, shrugged and looked at Jayden. "Ready to learn a new recipe?" 

Jayden shook his head, moving to lean against the counter. "I don't know why you keep trying to teach me when you end up being the one who does all the cooking." 

"Because someone in this house should be able cook besides Mia. And you ***can*** cook, you just don't like to," he countered. "So we're building up your repertoire." 

"If you say so," Jayden returned mildly, looking skeptical. "What made you decide to make this special soup today, anyway?" 

"It's one of the recipes my mom learned while she lived in Africa. She likes to make it whenever someone's not feeling well." 

Jayden's expression softened in understanding, and Antonio tossed him the squash. "So what do we do first?" 

****

He spent the night again. 

Part of it was that the thought of being back out on the water, dealing with the fishing poles and the crab traps made him shiver. Part of it was the way Jayden stayed to help him with the dishes after dinner was finished, nudging him playfully as they fought for elbow room at the sink until it dissolved in a soap war. He'd planned on heading out after - really, he had - but then Jayden had looked at him expectantly and asked if he wanted first or second shower. 

"I'm not gonna let you manipulate me again tomorrow," he murmured later, when they were curled up together in Jayden's bed, because he did know what Jayden was doing, even he was letting him get away with it. 

"Then don't give me a reason to," Jayden returned mildly, leaning in so that their foreheads touched. 

"I can't get past this if you keep giving me excuses, Jay." 

"You don't need me to give you an excuse. You wouldn't be here if you didn't want to be." 

He grumbled because it was true, even as he squeezed Jayden's hand under the pillow. 

" ... You could stay." 

He opened his eyes at that, smiling sadly when their eyes met. "I could," he agreed, because it was true. But they both knew he wouldn't. 

He kissed Jayden's nose instead, grinning at him when he went cross-eyed. 

****

He kept the boat for a few more days. Being out on the water helped deal with his fear, but he still couldn't bring himself to eat any of the fish he'd caught. On the other hand, he made a better profit when half his catch wasn't being kept to feed the team - even when a good portion of it was now going to eating out instead. 

But the fact still remained that it was too inconvenient when it came to getting to a fight quickly. There were no other options as far as he could see, and he wasn't willing to risk the team's safety just to keep the boat. Regretfully, he returned it to the old man and went back to a room at the motel. 

Clawzord sulked for days.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is ALL rosabelle and Arytra's fault. ALL OF IT. ~~The fact that it's short isn't, but I'll go ahead and blame them both anyway.~~
> 
> Jayden's comment about getting chocolate is in reference to the fact that Jayden incidentally proposed to Antonio on White Day. (For anyone who doesn't follow Japanese holidays, Valentine's Day is for girls to give store-bought chocolate to boys they like; homemade for the one they love most. White Day is the day boys give return chocolates.)
> 
> I'm not entirely happy with this chapter for reasons I can't put my finger on, but I'm not entirely unhappy with it either, so I'm calling it good and moving on. -Shrugs-

He wasn't sure what made him bring Jayden back to the apartment with him. He hadn't been there in more than two months, except to use the washer and dryer and clean out the fridge once in awhile. The only excuse he could come up with was that he had a new ring on his neck and neither of them was willing to go back to Shiba House tonight.

The reason didn't really matter much anyway. 

He could, and probably should, have given Jayden the grand tour of the place. Shown him where the bathrooms were, introduced him to the dojo, offered to make him something to eat. Shown him the view off the balcony, or let him see all the cool water toys in Octo and Clawzord's bathroom. 

Instead all he could think about was the fact that the place had been guarded and sealed and monitored against every form of evil imaginable because his family was ridiculously paranoid, and he finally had Jayden all to himself. 

There was really no other excuse for the way he pinned Jayden to the wall and kissed him breathless. Or the way his hands automatically came up to cup Jayden's face; the way his entire body pressed up against him. Part of his brain was warning him that this was wrong, that he needed to stop, that Jayden didn't like when he showed open affection and he needed to pull away now before he couldn't stop himself anymore. 

But then Jayden was kissing him back, and there were hands on his hips and he couldn't care about anything else. 

There was one moment, where they broke apart long enough to remember to breathe again, and he could see the wary question in Jayden's eyes. He shook his head in response, moving one of his hands against the wall so Jayden could see the protective symbol light up. They were safe here. 

The tension faded from Jayden's shoulders, and he offered a hesitant, shy smile. His expression was so adorable that Antonio couldn't help but kiss him again. 

Jayden had a thing about words. He didn't like to say what he was thinking or feeling, or anything he felt was improper. He'd learned from an early age to hold back any information that could give the enemy an advantage. It was the reason he was always so quiet, even when they were children. Antonio had learned to read Jayden's silence through his actions, to understand what he wouldn't - couldn't - say aloud. 

But then, not everything needed words. 

****

The big bed was a good idea, Antonio decided idly. He was ***never*** telling Mama, though. She'd never let him hear the end of it. 

He rolled over, smiling at the sight of Jayden sleeping peacefully next to him. The bed was plenty big enough for both of them, but they'd still ended up curled together by the time they finally fell asleep. It was probably habit, but he liked to think of it as preference. He'd always liked cuddling up with Jayden, ever since they were small. 

As he watched, Jayden's eyes twitched and opened drowsily. He blinked for a moment, focused on Antonio, and smiled. "Good morning," he murmured. 

"Best I've had in awhile," Antonio agreed easily. He rolled on top of Jayden, ignoring his noise of protest, and grinned down at him brightly. "Good morning, _princesa_ ," he purred, kissing him thoroughly. 

He grunted at the punch to his gut. It wasn't as bad as the first one had been, but it was by no means light, either. "Oi," he protested. "What kind of morning kiss is that?" 

"The kind you're going to get if you keep calling me princess," Jayden retorted. 

He pouted, batting his eyelashes. "But you're ***my*** princess." 

"Nice try," Jayden said dryly, pushing at his shoulder. "Are you going to let me up, or not?" 

He immediately flopped on top of him, reveling in the grunt Jayden made as he was pinned to the bed again. "Nope," he decided cheerfully. "I'm keeping you here forever." 

He felt more than heard Jayden's sigh. "Antonio - " 

" ***Forever***." 

He expected more argument, but surprisingly there wasn't. Jayden just sighed again, shaking his head, and let Antonio sprawl over him. He waited, but there was no tickling or underhanded tactics to make him move. Pleased, he shifted to lay beside him instead, letting his head rest on Jayden's chest so he could hear his heartbeat. 

Eventually he felt a hand reach up to play with his necklace, fingering each of the pieces. "I was planning to get you chocolate," Jayden commented quietly, sounding amused. 

It took him a moment to follow, but he grinned when he did. "This was better than chocolate," he assured him, sitting up enough to kiss him again. 

"Besides," he added thoughtfully when they broke apart, "You can always make me chocolate later." 

He probably should have expected Jayden to shove him off the bed. 

****

They spent the day together, even though they hadn't planned to. He couldn't quite bring himself to leave, and Jayden seemed to feel the same. Instead, they went to the amusement park, did some shopping, and generally goofed around for no reason at all. It was the longest amount of time they'd spent together in years, let alone away from the team, and Antonio spent most of it waiting for a Nighlock attack that never came. 

Things were different now that they were outside of the apartment and they both knew it, even if neither of them said anything. There was too much at stake to show that anything had changed. Instead they spent the day together like any best friends would, laughing and playing and teasing each other. They had dinner together, and eventually, reluctantly, he walked Jayden home. 

They lingered outside the gate for longer than they should have. Antonio suspected the others knew they were there, but no one had come out to confront them yet. Or apologize, which they'd better plan on doing to Jayden as soon as he came in or they'd regret it when he came over to join them for training in the morning. 

"You still have a room here, you know," Jayden offered. 

Antonio smiled at him. "I know." 

The walk back was peaceful. He'd actually been planning to go back to the apartment that night, just to clean up and wash some laundry and check on things. But the moment the building was in sight, he found his feet turning another direction. 

But even the hotel room seemed quieter than usual that night.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today I drank a cup of coffee, ate a brownie, drank Mountain Dew: Code Red, and had a bowl of ice cream. For those of you who are familiar with my sugar high chapters, this means exactly what you think it does.
> 
> My EvilJustinMuse seems to be poking his head into this story and buddying up with my ShinyAntonioMuse. The first part of the chapter is the result. (My EvilJustinMuse is responsible for all of FtD in its various incarnations, if anyone's curious. And he's damn proud of it.)

It was time for Antonio's monthly cleaning of the apartment. First because he still needed to wash the bed sheets, second because he couldn't remember when he'd last bought groceries and the fridge was probably getting rancid. And there were other things, like dusting and vacuuming and generally cleaning up. He figured he'd hack into S.P.D.'s database while he was there to update things for Aunt Karone and Chip, so that everyone would know he was still alive.

Cleaning was a team effort. Lightzord helped with him the laundry, which they decided was both fun and a good training exercise; they even managed to get most of the laundry into the washer after the first few tries. Octo had been a champion duster for years, and teaching Clawzord how to clean the tile in the bathrooms was both hilarious and disastrous. The little guy eventually got the hang of it, and Antonio left him to it while he tackled vacuuming. 

The fridge was disgusting, and that was all that needed to be said about that. 

Finally the laundry was running, the apartment was clean, and the MiniZords were playing in their bathroom. Antonio ordered a pizza and settled in at the computer to get to work. He clicked on the TV to run in the background, turned up the stereo, and stretched his fingers in anticipation. 

It was ridiculously easy to crack S.P.D.'s firewall. They were probably waiting for him, he decided, feeling disappointed. He was tempted to throw a virus at them just to spice things up, but Uncle Cam would have his head if he tried it. 

The video chat window popped up while he was adding to the Zord list under the Samurai Rangers' arsenal. 

"Most people call." 

" _Hola, mi hermano_ ," he greeted. He held up a finger as the doorbell rang. " _Un momento._ " 

Justin looked amused when he returned with pizza box in hand and one slice already halfway eaten. "Well, at least I can tell your parents you're eating," he said dryly. 

Antonio made a face at him, licking the grease from his fingers. "Didn't feel like cooking today. Besides, aren't you the one who told me real bachelors never cook?" 

"Yeah, and then you turned around and got me in trouble with Rocky for gay stereotyping." 

He grinned at the memory. Papa had ***not*** been amused at what his brother termed a 'real bachelor'. "At least you finally learned to cook." 

"I learned to use a microwave and steal leftovers from your fridge," Justin retorted. "Rocky's a terrible teacher." 

"Don't blame the teacher for the student's mistakes." He paused long enough to polish off another slice. "And it's not stealing if they're leaving them for you on purpose." 

"Hmm. So you have Lightzord now?" Justin frowned at the screen on his side. 

"Call him L.Z. He likes it better." 

Justin rolled his eyes. "Stop nicknaming your Zords, Antonio." 

He stuck his tongue out at him and spun in his chair to put the pizza box on the island. "So have I missed anything important?" he called over his shoulder as he hunted through the fridge for something to drink. 

"You got the birth announcement from T.J.?" 

He had to stop and think about it for a moment. "The one where he's holding his hand and looks like he's crying?" 

"That's the one." 

"Ah. Then _si_." He slid back over to the computer, pausing to frown at his brother in confusion. "Why was he crying, anyway?" 

"Litania broke his hand during the delivery. Cassie said they actually had to cast it for a few days." 

He whistled appreciatively. "Nice. You'd think by now he'd have learned better than to hold a woman's hand when there's a baby on the way." 

"You'd think," Justin agreed wryly. 

"That brings us up to ... twelve Ranger Kids, right?" he verified absently, taking a swig of the bottled water he'd foraged. 

"Thirteen," Justin corrected. "Cassie and Ko-lin finally decided. You're getting another girl cousin." 

" _Magnifico_!" he cheered, pumping a fist in the air. "Tell them I said congrats." He took another drink. 

"Will do." There was a pause. "So, you popped Jayden's cherry yet?" 

Antonio sprayed water all over the wall. 

He coughed for several moments, trying to get his lungs to settle as his face flamed. " ***Justin***!" 

Justin's eyebrows went up. "Seriously? I was just teasing." 

"I - " 

"It's about time you finally made a move. How long have you been there now? Almost a year?" 

"That's not - " 

He shook his head in mock disapproval. "Men have needs, Antonio. Even dedicated ones like your boyfriend." 

" _Basta!_ " Antonio burst out, cheeks flaming. He covered his face with his hands, muttering " _Mi hermano es un pervertido._ " 

" _Mi hermano es un mojigato,_ " Justin retorted, smirking. 

He cracked open an eye to glare at him. 

The smirk softened a little. "So you're okay?" 

He frowned. "Sure. Why? Did someone say something?" 

"Is there something they should have said?" Justin countered. 

He scowled. "I hate it when you play mind games with me." 

"And I hate it when you hide things, so we're even." There was a pause. "So, seriously. You're doing all right? There's nothing you need?" 

He smiled and shook his head. " _Nada._ I'm good." 

"Condoms, lube ... ?" 

"I'm hanging up now." 

****

He'd just finished putting everything away, getting ready to head back to the motel room for the night, when he heard a knock at the door. It was so soft he barely heard it; he actually stopped to look at the door and make sure he had. But then Octo chirped excitedly and flew forward, and he had to rush to catch him. 

"Whoa, down Little Buddy!" He had a feeling he knew who it was now, but he tucked the squirming MiniZord behind his back with one hand just in case. 

Jayden smiled awkwardly at him when he opened the door. "Hi. Can I come in?" 

" _Mi casa es tu casa,_ " he agreed easily, gesturing widely with his free hand as he stepped back to let him in. 

Octozord darted forward the moment Antonio let him go, chirping and whirling happy at Jayden, who laughed. "I missed you too, Octo," he murmured, reaching up to pat the little Zord. 

"So what brings you to our humble abode?" Antonio asked, smiling fondly at the two of them as Octo tried to perch on Jayden's shoulder. 

"Just bringing over a present," Jayden said casually. He seemed to hesitate briefly before holding out a small bag. 

Antonio blinked at it for a moment, took it, and peered inside. The moment he saw the little white box, he broke into a beaming grin. "You brought me cake?" 

Jayden shrugged, looking away as he flushed a little. "I do owe you chocolate." 

A slow, warm feeling crept over him. "You ***made*** me chocolate," Antonio realized, his grin widening. 

The blush on Jayden's face was clearly visible now. "Technically it's chocolate and caramel," he muttered, still staring at the kitchen. 

There was really only one answer to that. 

He wrapped his arms around Jayden, waiting until he finally met his eyes before giving a warm smile. "Share it with me?" 

****

He needed to wash the sheets again. 

_At least L.Z. likes helping,_ he thought wryly. He rolled over to smile at Jayden, who was stretched out on his stomach and snoozing. He reached over to play with the hair on the back of Jayden's neck. Jayden opened an eye, and he smiled at him. There was a slow smile back, and Antonio scooted closer, wrapping an arm around Jayden's back and nuzzling his cheek. 

They lay quietly together for awhile, until Jayden finally sighed and rolled over onto his side. "I should go," he said reluctantly. "The others will start to wonder where I am." 

Antonio's smile faded. "You could stay," he offered quietly. 

Jayden looked at him, smiled sadly, and reached out to touch the cord on his neck, fingering the engagement ring. He didn't say anything, but his thoughts were so strong they practically they drifted though the air for Antonio to hear. _:: I want to. I wish we could just stay here, together, forever. ::_

Antonio swallowed. "Jayden - " 

Lips pressed over his, gently but firmly, and Jayden slipped out of the bed and headed for the door. 

****

Antonio laid there for hours, staring at the ceiling in a room that was too quiet, a bed that was too big, breathing in Jayden's lingering scent and trying not to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:
> 
>  _Hola, mi hermano_ \- hello, my brother  
>  _un momento_ \- one moment  
>  _si_ \- yes  
>  _magnifico_ \- magnificent  
>  _Basta!_ \- enough!  
>  _Mi hermano es un pervertido._ \- My brother is a pervert.  
>  _Mi hermano es un mojigato._ \- My brother is a prude.  
>  _nada_ \- nothing  
>  _mi casa es tu casa_ \- my house is your house
> 
> (Conveniently, the cake that Jayden made is called [Better Than Sex Cake II](http://allrecipes.com/recipe/better-than-sex-cake-ii).)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own or work for either of a certain pair of superstores mentioned in this chapter.
> 
> I kind of feel the need to blame this chapter on PunkPinkPower. Her ~~gorgeous~~ heart-wrenching story [We Love Like Fools](http://archiveofourown.org/works/935739) got me thinking about the Clans, and how they influence the Rangers and their lives. I hadn't intended the ending, but my ShinyAntonioMuse sulked his way through writing this one because he dislikes the lack of sex, so I'm calling it good and moving on.

It was kind of an accident when Antonio fell asleep one night fishing by the stream in the woods where he'd first met the team. Mostly. He'd been trying to catch some freshwater fish for a customer who'd put in a request, but they weren't biting much that day. He was already tired, because he hadn't slept well for the past few nights again - the apartment was too big and empty, and the motel didn't have many guests at the moment - and so he just ... dozed off.

When he finally woke up, it was early morning. He didn't have to go anywhere, because all his fishing equipment was already here and so were the fish. He could catch his breakfast. The stream made for a cold bath, but it woke him up a lot faster than a hot shower. Best of all, with all the animals around, it wasn't noisy, but it wasn't quiet either. 

_It's worth a shot,_ he decided as he hung his soaked t-shirt out to dry on a tree branch. _It's not the first time I've roughed it._

He paused, grinning at the memory of a certain infamous trip with Uncle Jason and Zack, which later became known as what Dad declared The Reason for Ranger Kid Rule #18. 

_Better pick up some supplies first, though. Just in case._

****

Camping turned out to be the best idea he'd had yet. 

He managed to find a nice sporting goods store - it would never stop being weird that Panorama City didn't have a Wal-Mart or Target - and picked up his supplies for a decent price. The island was fairly moderate in temperature, so he'd be able to get by with just a one-man tent and a sleeping bag, but he still picked up an extra fleece blanket just in case. He also grabbed a lantern, some sealant, a couple of tarps, and because he did remember The Reason for Ranger Kid Rule #18, four extra packs of batteries, a compass, and a handcrank emergency radio. 

The light tent made packing up a breeze, which meant it was even easier to follow the fish. And everything bundled up small enough to fit in the backpack he'd bought, which meant it was a cinch to carry around. Honestly, he wasn't sure why he hadn't thought of this earlier. 

The answer to that question came less than a week later when Cody Shiba released the Bullzord, who promptly ran around terrorizing the countryside. 

****

He wondered briefly if Cody's father would remember him. They'd only met for barely a few minutes and the man hadn't even talked to him, so it wasn't likely. He did kind of wonder if he had any idea of who he was, or had even heard anything about the Gold Samurai Ranger. Or if he cared, for that matter. He seemed kind of cranky, and there were obviously more important things going on at the moment. 

It wasn't until they were sending the MiniZords out to search for Bullzord and Cody that he learned differently. 

"Your name." 

He jumped, turning to look at Cody's father with wide-eyes. "Huh?" 

The man stood behind him, watching the Zords in the distance before turning to stare at him through narrow eyes. "It's Anthony Garcia, isn't it?" 

"Antonio," he corrected, hastily adding "Sir." 

He nodded slowly. "You came with Lord Jayden to my wedding." 

Antonio smiled brightly. "I didn't think you'd remember me." 

"The entire wedding party spent three hours trying to find you two after you disappeared." 

He stopped smiling, swallowing awkwardly. "Oh. Um - " He bowed formally. "I sincerely apologize for my rudeness." 

There was a long silence, and finally Shiba sighed, turning to stare into the distance again. "It doesn't matter now. It was a long time ago." 

_Then why did you bring it up in the first place?_ Antonio wondered. 

"You're not from a Samurai family." 

"No," he agreed easily. "I chose to become a Samurai." 

Shiba glanced at him out of the corner of his eye. "You chose this life," he repeated, sounding suspicious. "Why?" 

He shrugged. "To help Jayden. I promised when we were children that I'd become a Samurai, and come back to fight with him." There were other reasons now: his family, his friends, continuing his family's legacy. But from the beginning, Jayden was what had driven him. 

For the longest time, Shiba just looked at him. "You should know," he said eventually, "Lord Jayden has broken a lot of traditions since becoming head of the Shiba Family. The Council won't be happy if he breaks another one." 

And then he turned and walked away, leaving Antonio staring after him. 

_... Was that a warning or a threat?_

****

He kind of expected it when everyone finally headed back to Shiba House and Jayden seemed to be waiting for him to catch up. He smiled brightly and moved to walk next to him, even as he withheld a sigh. It wasn't that he didn't want to talk to Jayden, exactly. It was just ... Cody's father had given him something to think about. And he wasn't sure if he should be thinking about it with Jayden just yet. 

"What's wrong?" Jayden asked quietly the moment they were side by side. 

He was going to say that it was nothing. Except that he got as far as opening his mouth before Jayden gave him a Look, and he stopped. "Do you break traditions?" he asked instead, keeping his voice too low for the others to hear. 

Jayden blinked and frowned a little. "Only the stupid ones." 

Antonio smiled despite his mood. "The stupid ones?" 

To his surprise, Jayden actually rolled his eyes as he counted off. "I had the futons replaced with western-style beds. I don't leave all of my chores for the Kuroko. I chose to live in Shiba House instead of the main house before I became a Ranger. I left running Panorama City and the Shiba Corporation to the Council. And I haven't been as ... promiscuous, as the Council might have preferred." 

It took a moment for Antonio to realize what he meant, and a little more to get why someone wouldn't have liked that Jayden hadn't been ... promiscuous. But once he did, he understood: the Shiba line had to continue, after all. He didn't ***like*** it, but he did understand. " ... Ah," he said eventually. He glanced at him, unable to help himself. "Why?" 

Jayden shrugged indifferently, but there was a faint blush to his cheeks. "I'm not interested in spending my time with people I don't trust." 

He didn't say more, but Antonio caught a drifting thought of _:: - not ***you***. ::_

He would have smiled at that, but Jayden glanced at him, frowning again. "Why do you ask?" 

For a moment he debated changing the subject, but Jayden's eyes started to narrow again, and he finally huffed out a sigh. "It's just something Cody's father said." 

Jayden's brow furrowed. "That I break traditions?" 

He nodded reluctantly. "And the Council won't be happy if you break another one." 

Jayden was silent for a moment. 

It wasn't that Antonio doubted Jayden's promise - he knew Jayden better than that. He knew his own feelings better than that, and that he'd never give Jayden up without a fight. But he also knew how much family mattered to Jayden, and the thought of being the cause of any problems within the Shiba family didn't set well in his stomach. 

"They'll get used to it," Jayden said finally, clearly dismissing the problem. 

****

That night he lay in his tent, watching the stars through the screen as Octo and Clawzord chatted at each other beside him. His mind drifted through the day, through the promise he had made to Jayden. Through the images that had flickered in Jayden's mind, strong enough for him to catch a glimpse of even if he hadn't been trying to. 

He wanted that. He wanted to have a beautiful, studious little girl just like Jayden. To have a bright-eyed son trailing after him. He wanted the patient, gentle look in Jayden's eyes, the smile on his face as he watched the three of them together. He wanted a life where all he had to worry about was making his beautiful family happy. 

But if what Cody's father had said was true ... Did that mean that there were people who would actively try to keep them apart? Or would they even care about Antonio being around, as long as Jayden continued the bloodline and ran the family company? Would they even care what Jayden wanted? 

_Maybe ... maybe it's better this way. Staying separate from the team. If I'm not ... not ***really*** there, it won't cause problems._

Because the last thing he wanted was to cause a problem for Jayden. For anyone on his team, because they'd be dragged into it eventually. Or even for Ji. 

_Yeah,_ he decided, forcing himself to nod as he stared up at the sky. _It's better for me to be out here. It's the best thing for all of us right now._


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Author's Notes/:** Something about Terry seems to inspire me to write lots of fluff that abruptly turns into angst. I have no idea why. -Eyes him-

Terry's visit was over far too soon.

Mia held his hand as they walked him to his gate to wait for his flight. Mike was talking loudly about anything and everything that came to his mind, trying to keep their spirits up. Emily kept glancing back at Mia and biting her lip. Kevin was frowning at Terry's ticket, routinely checking the flight information board to make sure they had the right place. 

Antonio trailed behind them with Jayden, who was quiet and thoughtful. He hadn't asked, but he suspected Jayden was still thinking about Mia and Terry's mother. He'd have liked to hold his hand, but it was too open here; too much of a chance of being seen. He settled for bumping his shoulder lightly instead. 

Jayden blinked once before offering him a faint smile, but that was all. 

"I'll miss you," Mia murmured suddenly, as Mike turned to pester Kevin. 

"No, you won't. You'll be too busy saving the world," Terry teased. 

She huffed at him before pulling him into a hug and whispering something in his ear. Terry hugged back tightly, burying his face against her shoulder. 

Antonio pretended to be distracted by the menu of a nearby restaurant. If they had been anywhere else, security wouldn't have let them get this far, but Panorama City - and Panorama Island in general - was more lax than most places. It didn't hurt that 'Lord Shiba' was with them, which meant that pretty much anyone with half a brain could guess that they were Rangers. 

A hand pushed his shoulder lightly, and he turned to see Terry giving him a smirk. "I'd say stay out of trouble, but this is you we're talking about here." 

"I have no idea what you're talking about." 

"Right. Like you're not responsible for most of the family rules." 

"Lies and slander," Antonio sniffed, folding his arms. "It's twenty-eight, actually. And I'm only directly responsible for seventeen of those. I'm actually the one who made Rule Six." 

"You're breaking Rules One through Three just standing there," Terry pointed out, amused. "Technically Rule Four if anyone actually understood what Symbol Power really is." 

Antonio frowned. "That's not true." He paused, thinking about what Rule Four meant. "Er, technically." 

"Technically," Terry echoed, smirking again. 

Antonio hesitated, biting his lip. He knew exactly how his parents would react if they knew where his Symbol Power came from - let alone the rest of the Family. "You - " 

"Relax, Cuz. I've got your back." Terry punched his shoulder lightly, offering him a grin. "Unless you get busted, in which case I know nothing." 

Antonio laughed. "Of course." He pulled Terry into a hug, squeezing briefly. "At least you can tell everyone you checked up on us and we're fine," he teased as he stepped back. 

Terry froze, eyes widening briefly before looking offended. "What makes you think I wasn't really here to check out Panorama College?" he demanded. 

Antonio gave him a pointed look. 

There was a pause, and Terry huffed out a sigh. "They ***do*** have a good program on natural medicine, you know," he grumbled. 

"Natural medicine?" Kevin interrupted, looking puzzled. 

Terry nodded. "Herbal medicines, acupuncture, homeopathy, energy therapy ... There are a lot of things they teach here that could be useful when I join S.P.D." 

"You want to join S.P.D.?" Emily repeated, startled. 

"Sure. Where else would I go?" 

"And would they let you get away if you didn't," Antonio added, elbowing him with a grin. 

Mia frowned, looking like she wanted to say something, but Jayden intervened. "Your plane's here," he spoke up, nodding at the large window. "They should be boarding soon." 

From there it was another round of handshakes and goodbyes, with hugs from Antonio and the girls. 

"Have a safe flight," Kevin told Terry, nodding formally. 

Emily bounced in place anxiously. "Ooh, they're boarding! You have everything, right?" 

"It's not like we can't mail it to him if he doesn't, Em," Mike pointed out, rolling his eyes. 

Jayden stepped forward, holding out a hand. "It was good to see you," he offered. "I'm glad things worked out for the best." 

Terry gave him an odd look, and Antonio tried to act like he didn't have a sneaking suspicion he might know what Jayden was talking about. "Me, too. Keep an eye on my cousin, would you? He's a pain, but we're kind of fond of him." 

Jayden frowned, his eyes flickering to Antonio. "I'll do my best," he said finally. 

"Shouldn't you be telling him to keep an eye on your sister?" Antonio demanded, scowling at Terry. 

"Do I look like I have a death wish?" he retorted as Mike and Emily laughed. 

Antonio stuck his tongue out at them and yanked Terry into a noogie. "Be safe, Brat. E-mail me, okay?" 

"You first," Terry shot back, ducking out from under his arm. 

Mia caught him in another tight hug, kissing his cheek before pulling away as Terry made a face. "Call me when you land, okay?" she pressed, misty-eyed. 

"Only if you promise to let us know you're still breathing more often." 

She laughed and nodded, pushing at him playfully. "Get going before you miss your flight." 

"You'd think you were all eager to get rid of me or something!" he called back over his shoulder as he hefted his bags and headed for the gate. 

"Quick, run while his back's turned!" Mike shouted after him. 

They waited even after Terry had boarded, watching the plane through window. Mia was still a bit teary, and no one had the heart to make her leave. Emily talked to her quietly, an arm around her shoulders while the rest of them tried to look busy. 

Jayden was staring at the plane with an odd look on his face, so Antonio wandered over to nudge him with an elbow. "You okay?" he asked quietly. 

For a long moment, Jayden just stared into the distance. "It doesn't feel over," he said eventually, his voice soft. "It feels like ... like he'll be back someday." 

Antonio considered that. Jayden had a high sense of intuition, particularly in regards to Nighlock. He hoped to introduce him to one of his mentors one day, or maybe Ryan or Cam, just to confirm what he already suspected. "Then I guess he will." 

Jayden turned, studying him. "Why would I need to keep an eye on you?" he asked abruptly. 

There was something ... wary in his eyes. His expression was bland, almost indifferent, like he was asking more out of polite curiosity than anything else. But his eyes were suspicious, like he was reading into what Terry had said and hearing something no one else had. 

Antonio forced a light shrug. "Beats me," he lied. 

It was the wrong choice. He knew the moment he said it that Jayden would know he was lying - and he could tell by the way his eyes narrowed slightly that he did. But there was still a part of him that held back from the truth. 

What would telling him do, anyway? Admitting that he was lonely, that he hated his apartment, that he missed his family, that he was worried about what the Council would do if they knew about their relationship. What would admitting that he had hid what he was thinking and where he was living do? 

Jayden would drag him to Shiba House, which would be fine at first. They could be subtle when it came to how they felt about one another; they had years of practice, and the stakes were higher than ever now to keep either of them from slipping. He would hate it, hiding. And Jayden would be distant, because while he'd never admit it, the few moments they had together to just ***be*** were part of what kept him together sometimes, and he'd be too afraid of showing weakness to admit in front of anyone else that he needed them. It would be terrible, but he could handle it. 

But at some point, being part of the Samurai Rangers in the official sense would mean questions. Questions about where his morpher came from, and how he made it. How he'd learned to be a Samurai, and what formal training he had. The Council would push, and he couldn't give them the answers they wanted. He wouldn't put his family on trial for them; they'd ***earned*** their right to hide. 

And someday, inevitably, there would be questions about his devotion to Jayden. About where his true loyalties lie, about what his intentions were. And he would be honest, because he wasn't ashamed of Jayden and what they had together. He would tell them that Jayden was his, and that one day he intended to formally make Jayden his husband. 

It was the last part that would cause problems. He'd learned enough about the Council through research and questioning Jayden, Ji, and their friends, to know that they considered themselves to be very traditional. They wouldn't care that Jayden was gay. They wouldn't even care that he had a relationship with Antonio. But they *would* care that Jayden needed to marry a woman and carry on the Shiba bloodline. 

The bloodline wasn't an issue exactly - at least, not with the people he knew and the resources they had. But he would never, ***ever*** just stand by and let his Jayden marry someone else. Not even for show. 

They'd fought too hard and too long to settle for something like that. 

He could see Jayden start to argue, get ready to push him for answers, before he stopped. Something sad came into his eyes. _:: I'm the ***last*** person who has any right to push for the truth, ::_ he heard Jayden tell himself bitterly. 

He cringed. "Jayden - " 

"Hey, you guys camping out here for the night, or what?" Mike called. 

Jayden shook his head, giving him a faint, guilty smile. "Sorry. Guess I'm just being paranoid." He nodded toward where the others were waiting. "We should go." 

"Yeah," Antonio agreed quietly, feeling awful. "Don't want them to leave without us." 

****

He couldn't avoid the Council forever. He wanted to keep Jayden and the others from being pushed in the middle for as long as he could, but he knew that the day would eventually come when he couldn't hide anymore. At some point, inevitably, they would start to ask. And when they did, he'd have to take a stand. 

Which is why when he stepped out of his tent the next morning, stretching and yawning in the sunlight, he wasn't as horrified as he should have been to see Kevin standing ten feet away, staring at him in shock and swiftly growing fury.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Author's Notes/:** So clearly I need to workout ALL THE TIME, because I went from re-reading this story up through chapter six just before I left so I could ponder the place I was stuck, to having the words practically explode from my fingers.
> 
> For anyone who really wants to know, the Rule Seven Antonio refers to is from The Official Ranger Kid Rules: 'Never keep secrets from Family. It always comes back to get you later.'
> 
> ETA: I've had several requests to post a copy of The Official Ranger Kid Rules. As I'm not entirely sure if it qualifies for AO3, I put it up on my website. You can now find it [here](http://www.angelfire.com/moon2/tsukinoakume/characters/rangerkidrules.html).

"He was sleeping in the woods! In a _tent_!" Kevin raged. "Do you even know what could have happened to you out there?" he demanded, whirling on Antonio. "You could have been attacked by a Nighlock, and we'd never have known. You could have gotten sick. You could have been injured. One of the Zords could have been lost!"

Octo floated up at that, buzzing angrily at the implication. 

"Easy, Little Buddy," Antonio murmured, gesturing for him to settle down. 

"You said you had a place to stay," Mia accused. 

"That was a very dangerous thing to be doing, Antonio," Ji lectured sternly. 

"You mean stupid," Mike put in, glaring at him. "Not to mention -" 

"Why did you lie to us?" Emily asked tearfully, looking hurt. 

"He didn't lie." 

He hadn't been expecting any support. He looked up to see Jayden leaning against the doorway, his face oddly blank. "Antonio does have a place to stay. I've been there before." 

Mike frowned. "So what, you just decided you'd rather sleep in the woods or something? I thought you were supposed to be a genius." 

... Okay, that one actually kind hurt. 

"Rule Seven," he muttered to himself. He chuckled a little, shaking his head because it was true. And really, he should have known. 

"Rule Seven? What the heck is Rule Seven?" Mike demanded. 

He shook his head again. "It's nothing," he told them, looking up. Because explaining the Rules meant explaining the Family, and none of them were really ready for that yet. 

He was met with six unimpressed stares. 

Octo buzzed at his shoulder, nudging him. He glanced at him, pulling out his morpher to read the message the little guy had sent. 

_speak._

He sighed, running a hand over his hair. "It's ... it's not that simple," he murmured, texting back with _secret stay secret. important._

_not important. important light._

That one took him a moment to puzzle over. Octo 'spoke' in Kanji, so he tended to speak very literally, in short, broken sentences. He also had a tendency to assign certain Kanji in place of names; with the Rangers, each of them were referred to by their element. By 'light' in this case, he was actually referring to Antonio, and that his secrets were only important to him. 

_family secret important_ he sent finally, because it was. He could not, ***would not*** drag his family into the battle with the Nighlocks. Not unless there was no other choice. As it stood right now, he couldn't be sure that everyone else would feel the same. 

The team would understand, he was sure. They had their own families to protect. He was ***mostly*** sure Ji would agree, but not completely sure - at least not enough to keep from hesitating. And he absolutely did not trust the Council to leave his family out of their fight. 

He slipped his morpher into his pocket and folded his hands, thinking. He couldn't explain about his family - not entirely, anyway. He'd mentioned the Wind and Thunder Academies already, but there was really no other way to explain how he knew Cam and Hunter outside of a Family Reunion. But he did owe them something. 

"I do have a place to stay," he said finally. "I have an apartment downtown. My - someone else pays for it for me." He paused. "I hate it." 

Mia moved to sit beside him, her expression nothing but concern now. "Why?" 

He sighed quietly. "I come from a big family. Bigger than any of you can imagine - and I'm not exaggerating. Ask Octo." He nodded to him, and Octo buzzed in agreement, bobbing up and down. "The apartment is ... Big. And empty. And quiet. " He swallowed, feeling silly even if it was true. "I can't ... I can't sleep there anymore. I tried, but." He shook his head, closing his eyes as they burned. 

"So why didn't you come here?" Mike asked, dropping to sit on one of the stools opposite him. He was still frowning, but he didn't sound angry now. "You think we have cooties or something?" 

He huffed, shooting him an exasperated smile. "It wasn't - you guys aren't the problem." 

"We're not?" Jayden's voice was carefully measured. 

"No," he said firmly. "It's never been about you guys. It's - " He hesitated. 

"The Samurai Council?" Emily guessed, coming to sit at his feet. 

He looked at her in surprise, and she met him with a sad, understanding smile. "They weren't really happy with me, either," she admitted. "I'm not exactly the person they were expecting." 

Antonio blinked. "How could you not be? You're awesome." 

Her smile widened, and she nudged his foot with her own. "Thanks. But it's true. My older sister was supposed to be the Yellow Ranger, but she got sick. So I had to come in her place. I had to speak to a representative after I got here to explain. They couldn't really do anything about it, but they didn't like me much." 

"Why didn't you say something?" Jayden asked, frowning at her. 

She smiled at him. "Because it wasn't a big deal. They don't have to like me, and I know they can't get rid of me. I didn't want to drag you into it." 

"Me, too," Antonio admitted quietly. "I know the Council isn't going to be happy with me being here, for a lot of reasons. And they're going to want answers to questions that I can't give them. I didn't want to put anyone else in the middle of that. So it just seemed safer to stay away." He kicked Emily lightly, giving her a faint smile. "And I guess in the beginning ... I just wasn't ready to be here." 

"Why not?" Mia asked quietly. 

"Was it because of me?" Kevin spoke up, looking faintly haunted. "I know I wasn't - I haven't been - " 

"A little," he told him honestly. "I know none of you were expecting me, and I didn't want to step on any toes. After that it was ... " He huffed again, smiling wryly at himself. "I'd say it must be a Sixth thing, but I don't think any of you would get it." 

"Sixth?" Mike echoed blankly. 

"What questions are you afraid of the Council asking?" Ji wanted to know. He seemed troubled. "If there's something you think they should know - " 

"It's not about what they should know. It's about what they shouldn't," he corrected. 

He took a moment to survey them all. Jayden still looked blank; he was probably assuming that it was them Antonio didn't want the Council to ask about. Kevin was frowning, but he seemed to be genuinely concerned now. Emily watched him with patient curiosity, not pushing, but still clearly hoping he would confide in them. Mia hovered, looking worried and protective all at once. Mike looked oddly irritated for some reason, but it didn't seem to be with him anymore. 

"They're going to ask about my training," he said at last. "About where I got my Powers, and how, and who taught me. And I can't tell them that." 

"Why not?" Emily asked softly. 

"Because it's not their fight." More than one of them looked confused, and he shook his head again. "The people I know, the ones who taught me ... the Nighlocks aren't their fight. They taught me because I asked - well, demanded really," he admitted ruefully. "But they know a lot about Power Rangers, how the Power works, and the technology it uses. The Council won't be able to leave that sort of resource alone. Realistically, they ***can't***. Just like I can't tell them how I know what I do or who taught it to me, because I can't drag them into this." 

_:: Family, ::_ he heard Jayden realize, and had to keep from starting in surprise. _:: He's protecting someone who's part of his family. The same way the others had to leave their families. The way Lauren - ::_

Jayden always was smarter than he knew, Antonio reflected. 

"We can't hold off the Council forever," Jayden said at last, frowning at the floor. "But there's no reason to involve them in our day-to-day lives. The Samurai Rangers have always lived in Shiba House. They know the full team is here; it doesn't matter to them how many of us there are. I won't lie, if it comes down to it," he added, looking at Antonio directly. "But there's nothing that needs to be offered." 

Antonio smiled at him, hoping he didn't have the big, soppy grin on his face he felt right now. Jayden wasn't just promising to keep the Council from trying to interrogate him; he was promising that if they asked him, directly, about their relationship, he wouldn't lie. He would tell them the truth. 

"I won't lie either," he told him, knowing he'd understand. 

****

It wasn't that Antonio hadn't believed Jayden when he'd insisted that a room would be made up for him. But Shiba House had been built for the Samurai Rangers - the _five_ Samurai Rangers - back in the Feudal Era. There was no reason to have room for a sixth Ranger when there had never been one before. 

And yet there was a room in the same hallway that the bedrooms for the others were. Across from Kevin's room, beside Jayden's. It came with a wardrobe, a desk, a tall bookshelf, and a double bed already covered with a golden comforter. 

It wasn't as big as his bedroom at the apartment, especially with all the furniture. And there weren’t any windows. But it was here, surrounded by his team. 

"I didn't kick Ji out, did I?" he asked, pulling out a drawer in the desk to make sure it was empty. 

Jayden shook his head, still leaning against the doorway. "No. He sleeps in the nursery. He says he's more comfortable there." 

_:: It probably would have been my room, if Lauren was still here, ::_ he heard him think idly. _:: Maybe it will be when she - ::_

"So did you ever find Narnia?" he asked loudly, trying to distract them both as he poked his head into the wardrobe. 

Jayden rolled his eyes, letting out a humph as he clearly tried not smile. "Mike made a joke about that the other day." 

He looked back at him, blinking. "About Narnia?" 

"Yeah," Jayden agreed, nodding. "He said - " He stopped flushing slightly before the blank look returned to his face. "Well, it wasn't important." 

"If you say so," he returned, forcing himself to shrug. He tried not to feel disappointed; he'd known Jayden would pull away from him here, where the others could see. It wasn't like he could blame him either, after hearing about Vulpes. 

He started emptying his clothes into the wardrobe, grabbing some pants to sleep in and leaving out the few random things he'd bothered to pack with his camping gear. There wasn't much to unpack, but he could always go to the apartment tomorrow for anything else he might need. It was getting close to time for another cleaning, anyway. 

"I'm glad you're here." 

It was so soft he almost didn't hear it, and when he looked up, Jayden was already gone.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Author's Notes/:** I swear I intended to go to sleep like, four hours ago. ShinyAntonioMuse said otherwise.

He made it out of his room, down the hall, and through the living area without a peep. Octo lurked behind him unhappily, but he kept quiet when Antonio asked him to be. For a moment he thought he spotted Ji in the kitchen, but he managed to duck out of sight and ease his way outside.

Which is why he only sighed when he saw Jayden sitting on top of the wall outside, waiting for him. 

He dropped his bag beside the front door and walked over, holding up a hand. Jayden took it, and he hopped up to sit beside him. "Waiting long?" 

Jayden shrugged. "About an hour. Maybe less." 

He nodded, looking down at his feet. 

" ... Are we really that terrible?" Jayden asked quietly. 

Antonio cringed, closing his eyes and shaking his head. "It's not about you. Any of you." 

"The Council doesn't even know you're here yet." 

He sighed, leaning back on his hands. "It's not that simple, Jay." 

"Then make it simple." 

He shot him a look of annoyance from under his eyelashes. "Stop taking it personally. I told you, you're not the problem." 

To his surprise, Jayden actually glared at him. "Then what is? You keep saying it's not me, but I'm the one you're trying to avoid!" He stopped, visibly reining himself in, and his voice lowered. "I know ... I know this isn't ... things aren't the way we want them to be right now. And I know I've been asking a lot of you - " 

"Jayden," he cut in, putting a hand over his. It was a risky move out in the open like this, but he couldn't let Jayden keep going. "I knew what I was getting into when I came here. I've always known it wouldn't be easy. And I get it. That's not the problem." 

Jayden looked at him for a moment before narrowing his eyes slightly. 

He sighed. "It's not ... ***most*** of the problem," he admitted begrudgingly. 

He could practically feel the hurt radiating off Jayden, and he closed his eyes, letting out another, longer sigh. "You know the one good thing about the apartment?" he asked quietly. 

Jayden shook his head wordlessly. 

"I feel safe there. I know that it's secure. No one gets in or out without me knowing about it." Well, without any of the alarms going off really, but even with the ones he couldn't hear someone would call to check on him. "I don't have to be on watch all the time. I can relax and just ... be. 

"When I was looking for somewhere else to go, where it wasn't so quiet, I couldn't relax like that. I couldn't let my guard down, because I never knew what was out there." 

"And here?" 

He bit his lip, because there really wasn't a way to put this that didn't sound terrible. "I'm ... in between. I'm safe, but I still can't let my guard down all the way. It's not secure. Not the way the apartment was." 

There was a long, painful silence. 

"I see," Jayden murmured finally, subdued. 

"It's not quiet here," he said softly, kicking his feet back and forth against the wall. "I love that. There's Ji in the kitchen at odd hours of the night, or Kevin snoring like he’s sleeping under water because Mike stuck tissues up his nose again. You getting up obnoxiously early, and making the rest of us suffer with you." He forced a smile, elbowing Jayden lightly. "Mike's always making a racket about something. Emily lights up every time she sees me. Mia stinks up the house with her cooking experiments ... " 

Jayden snorted lightly. 

"There's life. It's what I was missing there. And hearing life, and being surrounded by it ... That's important to me. It helps me sleep at night." 

"But you can't relax. Not like you do there." 

_Like ***we*** do there _, he was implying. But neither of them said it.__

Antonio sighed again, leaning over to drop his head on Jayden's shoulder. "I really do get it, Jay. That's not the problem." 

"But you don't like it. And that's the problem." 

"You don't like it either," he pointed out. 

Jayden said nothing. 

_I miss it_ , he wanted to say. _I miss being just us. I miss being able to fall into bed with you, to watch you fall asleep, to play with your hair in the morning because only you sleep in when you're with me. I miss listening to Octo and Clawzord and L.Z. playing in the bathroom, and seeing you laugh because you can hear them, too. I miss ***being*** with you. Being able to say that you're mine, and see you smile when I do._

It was silly, really. Jayden had only stayed over twice. Most of the time they met here at Shiba House, or out in the city, or caught up to each other somewhere else just in time for a fight. It wasn't like they were constantly there, spending time alone. 

Jayden's thumb brushed over the back of his hand. "I know," he said quietly. "I miss it, too." 

_And that right there, is exactly why I love you_ , he thought ruefully. 

They sat in silence for awhile. Antonio didn't bother to lift his head or move his hand, even though they were in plain sight of the house. The Nighlock wouldn't be able to see - not normally at least - thanks to the barrier, but it was still a risk. But Jayden hadn't pushed him away, and he couldn't bring himself to care. 

"So what do we do now?" he asked eventually. Because he didn't want to leave, but he didn't want to stay with things the way they were now, either. And he couldn't do what he ***really*** wanted, which was to grab his bag and Jayden and go back to the apartment. 

Jayden hesitated. "We could - " 

"Not do anything that would make you uncomfortable or lead to a nervous breakdown. Try again." 

" - would ***not*** have a nervous breakdown," Jayden grumbled under his breath. 

"Of course not. Try again." 

Jayden sighed, then paused. 

Antonio lifted his head and quirked an eyebrow at him. "What?" 

"We have slumber parties all the time." 

"We do ... " he said slowly, not entirely sure where Jayden was going with this. 

"Mike accused us of cuddling." 

"Because Mike is nosy and likes to ask awkward questions, yes." And they totally were. "Continue." 

Jayden shrugged a little. "So why not have another slumber party?" 

He raised an eyebrow. "I can't sleep in your room forever." _In your bed, specifically_ , he amended, because Mike really was nosy enough to keep asking. 

"Why not? 

He stared at him; Jayden stared back. " .. Are you serious?" 

"Why not?" Jayden repeated. "It's just an ongoing slumber party. We never got to have very many of them when we were kids." 

Which was true, but that was ... surprisingly devious of him. 

"Slumber party," he said again, letting his mind play with the idea. It wasn't perfect; there ***would*** be questions and odd looks, even if he flat-out told the others that he couldn't sleep alone. It wasn't exactly what he wanted, either. 

But it was a better compromise then suffering alone in a silent apartment or feeling uncomfortable in a room that didn't really feel like his. 

"Slumber party," he decided at last, raising a fist. 

Jayden bumped it obediently with his own. "We'd better get to bed. Ji won't let us out of training in the morning just because we stayed up too late taking." 

"He's such a slave driver," Antonio sighed dramatically, pushing off and dropping down neatly to the ground. 

****

It was the best sleep he'd had in months. 

Which is inevitably why Ji woke them at precisely 5:00am, just as Jayden had warned him he would. 

"I hate everything," he muttered into Jayden's pillow. 

"You always do," Jayden agreed amiably, already far more awake than he had any right to be. 

He contemplated staying exactly where he was and opting out of training for the day. 

Then Jayden yanked all the blankets off the bed, and suddenly he had more important things to do. Like plan his inevitable revenge.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Author's Notes/:** [This](http://www.hammocks.com/hammocks/hand-woven-hammocks/largecalientebrazilianhammockwithfringe.cfm?source=tellapart) is Antonio's hammock. Anyone who wants to know what Rule #14 is should go [here](http://www.angelfire.com/moon2/tsukinoakume/characters/rangerkidrules.html).
> 
> IT IS DONE!
> 
> I didn’t expect that it would actually finish this quickly, but ShinyAntonioMuse was DETERMINED to make me finish it before I started NaNo. We managed to squeak in just past the wire.
> 
> Much love to all my lovely commenters, who cheered me on and made me smile. And of course PunkPinkPower, who both inspired this and wrote the porn for it I couldn’t. You’re wonderful, sweetheart. ♥

The hammock was kind of an accident. Except not.

The odd looks and hinted comments about Antonio sleeping in Jayden's room came as expected. But they were mostly playful, nothing malicious at all. Mike had a few jokes that Antonio felt a need to later 'correct' during training, but even he had his limits. Whatever the rest of the team thought about what was going on between him and Jayden, they seemed to mostly accept that they didn't want to talk about it. 

But then Ji came to wake them in the morning for the fourth time. They had a tendency to stay up too late talking, and Jayden kept sleeping through the alarm. He didn't comment on the fact that they were sharing the bed, but there was a tight, pinched look to his face when he left the room. 

Antonio went out shopping the next day. He wasn't looking for anything in particular; just some fresh air and time to think. 

He could go back to sleeping in his own room. It wasn't like it changed anything, really. He might not sleep as well, but he'd still be at Shiba House, which was better than the apartment. He'd still be near Jayden, just ... not in the same room. Not distracting him from his Samurai duties, which was probably Ji's issue. 

Probably. He still wasn't quite sure where Ji stood on homosexual relationships, let alone relationships that involved Jayden. He suspected Ji's biggest issue was that he still wasn't all that fond of Antonio. 

And then he saw it. 

It was bright, eye-catching red. It was big and long and sturdy, and even came with its own stand. And best of all, it had red fringe on either side. _Lacy_ red fringe. 

It was ***perfect***. 

****

"You bought a hammock?" Jayden asked blankly as he pulled it out of the bag. 

"Yup. Isn't it awesome?" He held it up for Jayden to see, beaming. 

Jayden just looked confused. "Why?" 

He shrugged a shoulder. "Seemed like a good idea at the time." 

Jayden eyed him. 

He smiled brightly. Even if Jayden hadn't bothered to notice Ji's reaction, that didn't mean it wasn't worth paying attention to. "Help me make room?" 

****

The first pillow was also an accident. Except that in this case, it really was. 

He had a bright red hammock and the gold comforter from the bed in his room. So obviously the moment he found a matching gold accent pillow, he had to have it. Gold was a surprisingly difficult color to find, after all. Especially solid gold. He had to snap it up while he could. 

And if the gold against the red made him smile for reasons he couldn't really explain, well. 

He found the rainbow pillow while out shopping with the girls. It was hideous; covered in giant red, orange, and brown circles, with a large green flower. Whoever made it had had sequins and embroidery in every color they could think of. Best of all, there were hints of blue, yellow, and gold on it, too. He loved it instantly. 

He found the corduroy pillow on the same trip. It was kind of the darker shade of blue his brother tended to prefer, but not quite as dark as navy. He spent several minutes running a hand over the soft texture, before picking it up and hugging it to his chest. It was deceptively soft, despite the rough texture. 

"I didn't know you collect pillows, Antonio," Mia remarked as he paid for them both. 

He grinned at her, grabbing more bags from each of the girls to help free up their hands. "Neither did I." 

In another store he found a magenta pillow, covered in tiny mirrors. It reminded him of Aunt Kim, but then he remembered Rule #14 and put it down with a sigh. It was for the best. 

He felt much better about his decision two days later, after they faced off with Duplicator. Clones weren't ***quite*** the same thing as a mirror monster, but still. Better to be safe than sorry. 

The silver pillow came from another shopping trip. It was exactly the same color as Uncle Zhane's uniform, and sparkled in the light no matter which direction he moved it in. It was a feather pillow too, which he felt Uncle would appreciate. 

"What's with all the pillows, man?" Mike asked one day, leaning in the doorway, to frown at him as he adjusted them. 

Antonio shrugged. "I like pillows." He pulled his newest acquisition, a pale green metallic pillow with gold embroidery and a large gold object that may or may not have been a lotus flower in the center. "This one makes me think of you," he teased, playing with one of the green tassels. 

It didn't, actually. It had reminded him of Uncle Cam, and hours of sitting through meditation practice. It was his favorite form of discipline for unruly students. 

But the idea of getting a Mike Pillow stuck with him, so the next time he had to make a stop by the apartment, he took a few moments to browse the internet for something suitable. He settled on a giant round, bright green and fuzzy pillow labeled 'The Fuzz'. It was also a massage pillow, which made it obnoxious and awesome. 

The site he'd found Mike Pillow at also gave him a pale pink pillow shaped like a rose, which reminded him of Aunt Kat, and a pillowcase shaped like green, boggly-eyed creature that was supposed to be a dinosaur. It had giant yellow and red flowers on it, and an awkward, friendly smile. He sent pictures of it to his cousins the moment it arrived. 

Conner and Kira were suitably outraged. Ethan didn't understand why he'd even wanted it. Trent just seemed amused. 

Later he received a grumbly text message from Uncle Tommy, asking why he bought such a hideous thing and insisting that it wasn't a real dinosaur. He deciphered it to mean 'why didn't I get pictures too?' and bought a fuzzy white pillow to make up for the mistake. He made sure to send lots of pictures of him snuggling it. 

He made out like a bandit the day he wandered into a teenage girl's store by accident. There was a pillow of pink satin ruffles for Aunt Kim, along with a black faux fur pillow that reminded him think of Zack and his weird patterned shirts. He found a bold pink pillow for Mia patterned with silver and white swirls, a shiny blue sequined pillow that made him think of swimming and Kevin (even if it was technically Aunt Tori's color), and a purple velvet pillow because well, purple velvet. He later named it after R.J., because Earth obviously didn't have enough Purple Rangers yet. 

By the time he found a green and blue pillow for his papa and dad, a pillow for Uncle Jason, and yellow patterned pillows for his mom, Aunt Trini, Aunt Tanya, and Emily, most of the hammock was covered in pillows. 

He stood in front of it after he'd finished adding the last of the newest group, frowning in contemplation. 

"You could try putting the pillows on the floor so you have a place to sleep," Jayden commented dryly behind him. 

"You don't put family on the floor," he scolded, still staring at the hammock. 

There was a long moment of silence where he waited to see if Jayden would ask, and Jayden struggled not to ask. 

"Is that hammock even comfortable?" he asked finally. 

Antonio scoffed. "Haven't you seen my couch?" 

"You didn't pick out your furniture." 

"Details. Here, help me move them to the bed." 

" ... Why?" 

"So you can sit in the hammock with me, obviously." 

"Obviously," Jayden echoed, clearly amused. 

The pillows were easy enough to move, and the hammock was big enough for two, but getting into it together took some careful maneuvering. When they finished, they reclined sideways hip-to-hip. Antonio kept a foot on the floor, swaying them gently back and forth. 

"Comfortable, right?" he murmured eventually. 

Jayden made a noise of acknowledgement. 

Antonio closed his eyes, resting his head against Jayden's. Very comfortable, he decided. A nap was tempting. 

"Why did you buy the hammock?" Jayden asked after awhile. 

He could have dodged it. But he was comfortable, and Jayden was warm, and their voices were low enough. Probably. "Ji doesn't like me being in your room. Thought I'd make it easier." 

"I'm not marrying Ji." 

It was barely a whisper; he would never have heard it if he hadn't been so close. But it was enough to put his heart in his throat as he blinked rapidly, swallowing hard. For Jayden, just saying something like that out loud was a huge step. 

"It's pretty full of pillows," he said offhandedly after a moment. "Not so much room to sleep in." 

"I noticed." 

"Might have to go back to stealing your bed, just so I can get enough rest at night." 

Jayden huffed quietly. "Antonio. Stop making excuses and sleep wherever you want to." 

He smiled; he couldn't help it. "Fine, bossy." 

_I'll sleep right beside you, for the rest of our lives._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone who wants to know:  
> [The original gold accent pillow](http://www.amazon.com/Artiwa-Solid-Decorative-Accent-Pillow/dp/B007KTF7EI/ref=pd_sim_hg_5). This one is technically a pillow *cover*, but you get the idea.  
> [Rainbow Pillow](http://www.amazon.com/Cotton-Craft-Decorative-20---20-inches/dp/B00COJOXE4/ref=sr_1_29?ie=UTF8&qid=1383264217&sr=8-29&keywords=pillows+decorative>Rainbow%20Pillow</a>,%20<a%20href=), [Justin Pillow](http://www.amazon.com/Pillow-Decor-Corduroy-22x22-Throw/dp/B00BUR5CH8/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1383289978&sr=8-5&keywords=blue+corduroy+pillow), [Mirror Pillow](http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004NPU23I?psc=1), [Zhane Pillow](http://www.amazon.com/Thro-Marlo-Lorenz-5885-Gold/dp/B00BP5SM54/ref=pd_sim_hg_44), [Cam Pillow](http://www.amazon.com/Singing-Meditation-Brocade-Bowl-Cushion/dp/B0018QV63K/ref=sr_1_78?ie=UTF8&qid=1383264687&sr=8-78&keywords=pillows+decorative), [Mike Pillow](http://www.amazon.com/Sunbeam-Massaging-Pillow-Green-Standard/dp/B00CTG3QPY/ref=sr_1_89?ie=UTF8&qid=1383264726&sr=8-89&keywords=pillows+decorative), [Kat Pillow](http://www.amazon.com/Flower-Garden-Decorative-Pillow-Round/dp/B0079Q37Z8/ref=pd_sim_sbs_hg_17%22), [Dinosaur Pillow Case](http://www.amazon.com/Dinosaur-Decorative-Pillow-Cover/dp/B00FYTURVE/ref=sr_1_163?ie=UTF8&qid=1383265998&sr=8-163&keywords=pillows+decorative), [Tommy Pillow](http://www.amazon.com/Brentwood-18-Inch-Mongolian-Pillow-White/dp/B003PGQ1WW/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1383264167&sr=8-4&keywords=pillows+decorative), [Kim Pillow](http://www.amazon.com/Vintage-Soft-Pink-Inches-Ruffles/dp/B005C1C1PE/ref=pd_sim_sbs_hg_14), [Mia Pillow](http://www.amazon.com/Decorative-Modern-Damask-Throw-Pillow/dp/B009BQOHC6/ref=sr_1_288?ie=UTF8&qid=1383272956&sr=8-288&keywords=pillows+decorative), [Kevin/Tori Pillow](http://www.amazon.com/Decorative-Transparent-Sequins-Floral-Pillow/dp/B009WXQUT6/ref=sr_1_36?ie=UTF8&qid=1383264416&sr=8-36&keywords=pillows+decorative), [R.J. Pillow](http://www.amazon.com/DreamHome-Velvet-Decorative-Pillow-Eggplant/dp/B00DH09IK8/ref=pd_sim_hg_57), [Rocky/Adam Pillow](http://www.amazon.com/Greendale-Home-Fashions-Rectangle-Outdoor/dp/B007CW0G5I/ref=sr_1_101?ie=UTF8&qid=1383264758&sr=8-101&keywords=pillows+decorative), [Aisha Pillow](http://www.amazon.com/JinStyles-Chevron-Striped-Decorative-inserts/dp/B00B6B90UI/ref=sr_1_178?ie=UTF8&qid=1383266065&sr=8-178&keywords=pillows+decorative), [Trini Pillow](http://www.amazon.com/Pillow-Perfect-Outdoor-Rectangular-Starlight/dp/B00BU6W2AY/ref=sr_1_285?ie=UTF8&qid=1383272956&sr=8-285&keywords=pillows+decorative), [Tanya Pillow](http://www.amazon.com/Pillow-Perfect-Decorative-Geometric-Rectangle/dp/B006VMYWSC/ref=sr_1_165?ie=UTF8&qid=1383265998&sr=8-165&keywords=pillows+decorative), [Jason Pillow](http://www.amazon.com/Artiwa-Decorative-Pillow-Elephant-Stripe/dp/B00CKIM9ZY/ref=sr_1_6?s=home-garden&ie=UTF8&qid=1383286052&sr=1-6&keywords=red+and+black+pillows), [Emily Pillow](http://www.amazon.com/Pillow-Perfect-Azzure-16-5-Inch-Marigold/dp/B0093ZF5C6/ref=sr_1_71?ie=UTF8&qid=1383264687&sr=8-71&keywords=pillows+decorative).

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Not Everything Needs Words](https://archiveofourown.org/works/953882) by [PunkPinkPower](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PunkPinkPower/pseuds/PunkPinkPower)




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